You Are Not Broken: Reclaiming Pleasure & Coming Home to Your Body

Speaker A: 00:00:00

Welcome everyone, back to the Connected Pleasure podcast. I'm Kayla, your host, and I use she, her, hers, pronouns. And this is another mini episode talking about my one on one coaching program.

So something else that comes up quite frequently with the clients that I have worked with is the feeling of being broken. Many women come to me, whether individually or in a couple, and feel like they can't access the things that they feel like they can access.

They think that there's something wrong with them, that for some reason desire is not there and it's their fault.

And sometimes they've had desire previously and it was easy to access pleasure, and then all of a sudden it falls off, or maybe it falls off gradually. And again they think it's their fault that they are broken, that they're the problem. It leads to disconnection with their partners.

And some clients have never been able to really experience pleasure in themselves. And they really feel broken.

They feel like, why can everybody else figure this out and be able to either orgasm or just feel safe and comfortable with a partner exploring their sexuality and having positive sexual experiences? And that is not something that they are able to do. So many women in this space feel like they are broken.

And I think a big part of that is because society has taught us to not understand our pleasure, to be separate from our pleasure, and even that our pleasure is often for someone else. That we are taught that pleasure is for the.

In a heterosexual relationship, the man in a relationship, and that it's not for women that we are there to serve, that we are there to give to the other person, and that it doesn't matter what we feel in our bodies. It doesn't matter how we experience the experience of whatever sexual experience you're having. It just matters what the outcome is for the partner.

And that makes it really hard for women to feel like they can claim that part of themselves.

And for women that have maybe experienced pleasure before, either, you know, they are in a space where trauma is now resurfacing with their partner, and so maybe that lowers their desire. There are big transitions that are happening in that person's life.

Maybe, maybe you just became a mom, maybe there is stress at work, or you're a student going to school, or, you know, you just moved or like any number of transitions in your life.

Women that are going through perimenopause or menopause often, you know, they biologically have a dip in their estrogen and so they experience lower desire. And so there's so many aspects that can go into why somebody has low Desire, but oftentimes they feel broken.

They feel like there is something wrong with me.

And especially when couples are coming in, Usually the partners that I experience are very supportive and very loving, but oftentimes do feel like, yeah, like this is something that my partner is experiencing and I just want to be here to support them. And that's not how I actually work with the couples.

But oftentimes, again, like, they're coming in because one person is not up to the same level of desire that the other partner is. And so, again, it reinforces this feeling of being broken.

So in my one in one, one on one container, this is your space to really step aside from your partner, if you have one, or really be in a space to give yourself time, give yourself the softness and the ease to really explore for yourself where those barriers are for you. Are you experiencing trauma? Are you experiencing anxiety? Are you experiencing a transition in your life?

What are the different barriers that are preventing you from being able to receive pleasure and access pleasure for yourself? And do you feel broken? Is that something that is a core narrative that is going on for you around sex and pleasure?

And if it is, then we get to explore that. We get to understand how is that shaping what you are experiencing in your sexual pleasure?

And how do we dismantle that and give you some tools to get back to a place where you're feeling like, I can actually access this? So my container is very soft and. And gentle.

We go through the different stages of your own journey that you've gone through so far and then really start to again, like I said, dismantle that through giving you a lot of education, but then also, like, rewiring your nervous system, as some of my guests that I've had on this podcast have already talked about, like, how do we rewire our nervous system to feel safe in our bodies and feel like we can access that pleasure? Because now we feel safe and we feel whole and we feel like this is something that I actually deserve.

So if that is something that is ringing true for you, or it feels like it's striking a chord for you, or you're feeling drawn to the energy that I'm putting out, please go down below and first sign up for my newsletter, because I will give you, with that, your free Sacred Body workbook. This is a workbook that is about reclaiming your relationship to your body.

It's dismantling our idea of body image and gives you some tools on how to start to reclaim your relationship to your body and feel like, again, you can live in your body in a way that feels good, that feels sacred, that feels like this is a vessel that is walking with me through life and is helping me be alive. And that is something that is amazing instead of being so divorced and just disconnected from our bodies the way that society has told us.

So please go down in the show notes and sign up for that newsletter. It is obviously free, but it's not a big commitment.

I will be sending out lots of emails during the open cart week when you can actually sign up for a coaching package because that's part of what we're doing here. We're putting all the information out and helping you make this decision.

But after that I only send out those emails twice a month on the new and full moon. So it's not. I'm not gonna be spamming your inbox, I promise.

And it's a great way for you to stay in my orbit and know kind of the ins and outs of what's going on for me and also the different things that I'm hearing and thinking about, stories of what I'm going through and how it connects to pleasure. So that's a great way to stay in contact with me.

If this is really feeling like full embodied yes for you, then I also invite you to go down below and schedule your free 45 minute consultation.

These are going to be fit calls that I am doing just during the week of OpenCart when you can actually go in and book your one on one package with me. And these consultations are really about connecting with each other.

It's a way for you to go beyond the podcast, beyond Instagram, beyond email, and really have a one on one conversation with me so we can deep dive into what your story is, what you specifically are going through and how I can help. How this container could be a right fit for you.

I can tell you a little bit more about me, what I do, fill any gaps that you have around things that maybe I haven't said yet in this podcast or that you haven't heard so that you feel very comfortable with this space and with me and feeling like I am the right fit for you. Cause that's important.

It's important for you to feel like I am somebody that can hold the space for your journey and that you feel safe in this space. So this free 45 minute consultation is a great way for both of us to to make that decision of if one of these six spots is your spot.

So please go book that again. They're only available during that week. I believe it's the 7th, 8th and 9th October.

I've blocked out that week out as much as I can so that I have as many slots as possible so people can fill those up and we can really, you know, get in with the nitty gritty of what you're going on or into the nitty gritty of what's going on for you and have you really make that decision. So those are my two asks for you.

Go subscribe to my newsletter, get your free workbook, and then also if this is a big hell yes for you, or at least like it's a yes enough that I want to have that one on one conversation and see if this really is the right fit for me, then go and book that 45 minute consultation. Again, it's completely free. There's no obligation. If it ends up not being the right fit, no worries.

We will part ways and I will just have enjoyed having a good conversation with you. So go book that and we'll see if we're a good fit. All right.

Tomorrow I have a wonderful interview coming out with Kristen Allitt, so be on the lookout for that and listen to that episode.

I just finished editing it and oh my goodness, in trying to get a clip to put on Instagram for that whole podcast, every single clip that I got from AI was gold. Kristen is amazing and she is just dropping, dropping pieces of gold throughout that entire podcast. I really highly recommend you to listen to it.

And then I will be back with more mini episodes next Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. So stay tuned for all of those and I will be seeing you then.